Cold Turkey Time!

At 16 I smoked my first cigarette trying to impress an older girl who probably doesn’t even remember my name now. Fast forward 7 years and I still smoke! The amount of money I’ve wasted is probably ridiculous! Actually I’m going to do the math! £4.50 (10 pack of mayfair kingsize cigarettes)  x 7 (week total) is £31.50 a week. £31.50 x 4 (4 weeks in a month) = £126 a month, x 12 (to find out the year cost) is £1512. £1512 x 7 (for the total years I’ve been smoking) is £10,584…….. As Im writing this I feel physically sick!! Are you fucking kidding me?!

Lets see how much time I’ve wasted as well!  lets say it takes me 2 minutes to smoke a cigarette x 10 (amount of cigarettes I smoke a day) = 20 minutes. If I x the 20 minutes  by 7 = 140 minutes per week. To find out how many minutes in a month I do 140 x 4 = 560 minutes a month x 12 = 6720 mins a year. If I take that total x 7  (total amount of years I’ve smoked) = 47040 minutes. There is 1440 minutes in a day so if I take the 7 year total and divide it by 1440 I get 32.6 days just smoking…..

Are you having a laugh?! so over 7 years I have spent approximately £10,584 and 32/33 days just on smoking cigarettes?! that is absolutely atrocious!

I have tried to quit many times before the longest I’ve ever quit for was a year….. I went to Amsterdam and it all went downhill. But it hit me today, we always do things for a reason so I asked myself why do I smoke?  To be very honest there were two reasons. The first was it was a release it’s always been a getaway. The second was BOREDOM… when I was bored it gave me something to do, when I think about it its absolutely stupid! I think the biggest discovery from questioning myself  was that it was a real getaway. Instead of dealing with problems head on I’d run away from them and be comforted by a cigarette almost like a dummy for a baby.

This feeling of getting away is prevalent in my drinking habits also I’m sure for many others as well. When I sat there and asked myself, when do I drink and usually its when I’m mega pissed off, socialising or at a party. I don’t think drinking socially or at a party is a problem but drinking alone when your pissed off is. I suppose drinking and smoking has always been a coping mechanism for me but really it isn’t because your not actually facing your problems your running away from them.

I have been cold turkey for two days now and I am surprised how much I am actually addicted to smoking. Ive been sweating, feeling tired all the time, feeling depressed and generally feeling very shit. The second day hasn’t been too bad but I keep getting thoughts like just have one but I’ve stayed strong and resisted. Ive always felt like I’ve never had a choice when it comes to smoking “All my mates smoke! How am I going to survive?  What about when your in the smoking area of a club?  What about when your having a drink?” But you know what they are all excuses, I was never born with a cigarette in my mouth and when I think about all the time and money I’ve wasted its defiantly not worth it! I’ve learnt over time that the small changes we make can lead to bigger ones as well so this is just the start for me and I hope it inspires a new start for you!

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

 

 

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Trust In The Path You Walk

Trusting in yourself and the path you walk can be a tricky thing especially if you’re going through a tricky time. Challenges arise in life it’s just a part of it, once you get that into your head you approach them differently. I strongly believe we go through things for reasons, whether that is to prepare us for a harsher challenge down the road or to make our near successes sweeter. Achieving things without tough times doesn’t make the success feel better inevitably it makes it substandard.

I have now developed a strong trust in myself which I am extremely proud of. I don’t think I’m perfect I know I will make mistakes but I trust in my ability to overcome them! I sit back sometimes and reflect on my life and think about what I have been through, what I have overcome and were I am heading. Even when I think about the bad mistakes I’ve made I always think to myself it’s irrelevant, I’m here in this present time and I have the power to make those changes TODAY!

A big portion of our time is spent questioning why we are in this situation but at the end of the day you are and you can either keep questioning it or trust in your ability to deal with it!

JUMP MAYNE!

Scars Will Scab

 

What cripples us most in the face of uncertainty?

For me personally and many others I’m sure it is the fear of being judged. Where does this innate paranoia originate? Is it because of past negative experiences? Part of it probably is but ask yourself: Where has the fear of being judged got me? Has it ever resulted in a positive outcome? The chances are it has never ever done that for you.  The worst part about the fear of other people’s judgment is that you become consumed with judging yourself, usually very harshly.

I mean this in the kindest way possible but people out there do not give a shit about the fact that you are wearing odd socks today or you approached a woman and got turned down. People are way too busy thinking about their own lives to severely worry about yours and that’s the harsh truth.

Upon reading this you may think Aaron you baldy I thought this was a blog about positivity but wait hear me out. In knowing that people do not care about you as much as you think why on earth would you care about their opinion?  It’s an extremely liberating outlook and mindset that allows you to truly express yourself without the fear of “Caring.” Taking a risk and being yourself is what life’s all about it allows you to expand your comfort zone further and further making things you used to worry about appear minor. The greatest part about being yourself is you filter out the people who you genuinely do not get along with which is not a bad thing, not everybody likes everybody!

So whether the outcome is good or bad it doesn’t matter. Nobody cares except you anyway and to be quite frank you should pat yourself on the back for being yourself. When we fear being judged it’s usually because we are allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. For some reason being vulnerable is considered weak especially amongst us men. Think of it like this, we go to the gym, lift weights to break down our muscle right? Then what do we do? We go and eat shitloads of protein. Vulnerability is our bench press and experience is our protein, whether the outcome is good or bad it will always make us stronger regardless. 

At 21 years old my hairline was a mess! I was super paranoid about it. Every time the wind blew my heart sped. It might sound really trivial to a lot of people but to me it was a huge thing. One day I woke up and said you know what Fuck it my hairline is receding and I’m going to do something about. I hopped out the barber chair a bald man and never looked back since! Sure when people I haven’t seen in a while saw me they were really shocked some liked it some didn’t but at the end of the day I liked it. It was one of the most liberating things I’ve ever done! I felt so good about myself that other people’s opinions meant nothing because I did what I wanted to do!  To be very honest people gravitate to you more when you own who you are anyway so worrying about what other people think of you is completely pointless.

I’m not saying here that nobodies opinion counts those that positively contribute to your life should be heard. But at the end of the day its your life, its 10% of what happens to us and 90% how we react to it!

 

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