Trials And Tribulations Of Finishing Uni

One of the best moments in my life was graduating Uni with a 1st class degree. Me?! I managed to achieve a 1st?! I busted my ass day and night and sacrificed so much and got what I deserved! Finding a job can’t be that hard now can it I’m surely going to own a Ferrari :D…… Well you bald mug you were wrong! I have always been a motivated person, strong willed and resilient but my time after University made me seriously question these qualities I previously thought I had.

My time after Uni sounded a little like this:

Mate 1: “Aaron I got a job in Accounting 23k starting!”

Me: “Well done mate you deserve it”

Mate 2: “Aaron I got a job in Marketing 20k and there paying for me to study further”

Me: “Well done darling you deserve it”

Mate3 :”Aaron i’m working in china in recruitment 25k and accommodation paid for”

Me: “Amazing I hope you have a fantastic time”

Mate 4: “Aaron”

Mate 5: “Aaron”

Mate 6: “Aaron”

 

Hold on! Where the fuck is my amazing job?!!!!!! I’m not an envious person but I did really well, worked my ass off and people who didn’t are in amazing jobs progressing with their lives and i’m on pause like a scratched DVD. It wasn’t as if I wasn’t trying either, Id apply for ten jobs a day and trust me I have the job log on excel to prove it.

My money started getting low (practically non existent) I was at home bored, my life felt like a complete mess. I almost began to feel like I was owed something! I wanted a career in marketing and felt as though it was unattainable and I should just pack it in and get an admin role somewhere and just do a job I’d hate. Many people told me to do that as well! but I thought to myself…. Think how many times people told Obama he couldn’t be president and i’m pretty sure he’s the geezer in the white house at the mo! So I persisted and persisted and my breakthrough came!

I’m a strong believer that there’s a reason for everything whether it be good or bad and when things come hard they taste that much sweeter. I strongly believe the hard spell I had after Uni helped me to become super motivated and learn as much as I can to propel myself to the next level. It’s easy to play the victim role and question “Why is this happening to me?” but this achieves absolutely nothing, ACTION does.

Weather your dream is big or small just keep at it never let anyone sway you!

-Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent-

 

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Would You Have Taken The Fight?

Anthony Joshua is now the IBF champion of the world! A lot of people doubted him and said he took the fight too soon but he saw an opportunity, believed in his ability and went for it! I have nothing but respect for the guy, a lot of people in life (Myself included) wait for the perfect time that never comes and this typifies why you shouldn’t.

Imagine Joshua didn’t take the fight and fought another opponent and lost. He’d of went down in the rankings and maybe wouldn’t have got that title fight for some while. But now he’s got the belt and has the possibility of fighting Tyson Fury in the near future for two more belts!

 

-Chat Shit Get Banged-

 

My Key Takeouts From The Art Of War!

“A wise general makes a point of foraging on the enemy”

Take what you can from people and experiences.

“Sun Tzu said: In the practical art of war, the best thing of all is to take the enemy’s country whole and intact; to shatter and destroy it is not so good. So, too, it is better to recapture an army entire than to destroy it, to capture a regiment, a detachment or a company entire than to destroy them”

So don’t burn them bridges even if your not getting on with someone don’t shatter what you had previously!

“Hence to fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting”

Be persuasive, cunning and tactful and often you don’t even have to fight.

“If equally matched, we can offer battle; if slightly inferior in numbers, we can avoid the enemy; if quite unequal in every way, we can flee from him”

Pick your battles wisely.

“He will win who, prepared himself”

Make plans.

“Hence the saying: If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle”

Know and understand what you’re up against.

“There are not more than five musical notes, yet the combinations of these five give rise to more melodies than can ever be heard”

Don’t over complicate stuff, you have all you need to achieve.

“The quality of decision is like the well-timed swoop of a falcon which enables it to strike and destroy its victim”

Be true and decisive in your decisions don’t be sitting on the fence.

“For it is the nature of a log or stone to remain motionless on level ground, and to move when on a slope; if four-cornered, to come to a standstill, but if round shaped, to go rolling down. Thus the energy developed by good fighting men is as the momentum of a round stone rolled down a mountain thousands of feet in height. So much on the subject of energy”

Motivation comes from moving and actually doing things.

“Do not repeat the tactics which have gained you one victory, but let your methods be regulated by the infinite variety of circumstances”

Don’t do the same shit and expect different results.

“Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt”

Don’t make your plans known.

“A soldier’s spirit is keenest in the morning; by noonday it has begun to flag; and in the evening, his mind is bent only on returning to camp”

Get your biggest tasks done as soon as possible in the day.

“If in training soldiers commands are habitually enforced, the army will be well-disciplined; if not, its discipline will be bad”

Good habits are important.

“The skillful tactician may be likened to the shuaijan. Now the shuai-jan is a snake that is found in the Chung mountains. Strike at its head, and you will be attacked by its tail; strike at its tail, and you will be attacked by its head; strike at its middle, and you will be attacked by head and tail both”

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket be multidimensional, cover all angles.

“If the enemy leaves a door open, you must rush in”

If the opportunity ever so slightly presents itself take it!

“Move not unless you see an advantage”

Focus on the positives and you’ll keep moving.

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Cold Turkey Time!

At 16 I smoked my first cigarette trying to impress an older girl who probably doesn’t even remember my name now. Fast forward 7 years and I still smoke! The amount of money I’ve wasted is probably ridiculous! Actually I’m going to do the math! £4.50 (10 pack of mayfair kingsize cigarettes)  x 7 (week total) is £31.50 a week. £31.50 x 4 (4 weeks in a month) = £126 a month, x 12 (to find out the year cost) is £1512. £1512 x 7 (for the total years I’ve been smoking) is £10,584…….. As Im writing this I feel physically sick!! Are you fucking kidding me?!

Lets see how much time I’ve wasted as well!  lets say it takes me 2 minutes to smoke a cigarette x 10 (amount of cigarettes I smoke a day) = 20 minutes. If I x the 20 minutes  by 7 = 140 minutes per week. To find out how many minutes in a month I do 140 x 4 = 560 minutes a month x 12 = 6720 mins a year. If I take that total x 7  (total amount of years I’ve smoked) = 47040 minutes. There is 1440 minutes in a day so if I take the 7 year total and divide it by 1440 I get 32.6 days just smoking…..

Are you having a laugh?! so over 7 years I have spent approximately £10,584 and 32/33 days just on smoking cigarettes?! that is absolutely atrocious!

I have tried to quit many times before the longest I’ve ever quit for was a year….. I went to Amsterdam and it all went downhill. But it hit me today, we always do things for a reason so I asked myself why do I smoke?  To be very honest there were two reasons. The first was it was a release it’s always been a getaway. The second was BOREDOM… when I was bored it gave me something to do, when I think about it its absolutely stupid! I think the biggest discovery from questioning myself  was that it was a real getaway. Instead of dealing with problems head on I’d run away from them and be comforted by a cigarette almost like a dummy for a baby.

This feeling of getting away is prevalent in my drinking habits also I’m sure for many others as well. When I sat there and asked myself, when do I drink and usually its when I’m mega pissed off, socialising or at a party. I don’t think drinking socially or at a party is a problem but drinking alone when your pissed off is. I suppose drinking and smoking has always been a coping mechanism for me but really it isn’t because your not actually facing your problems your running away from them.

I have been cold turkey for two days now and I am surprised how much I am actually addicted to smoking. Ive been sweating, feeling tired all the time, feeling depressed and generally feeling very shit. The second day hasn’t been too bad but I keep getting thoughts like just have one but I’ve stayed strong and resisted. Ive always felt like I’ve never had a choice when it comes to smoking “All my mates smoke! How am I going to survive?  What about when your in the smoking area of a club?  What about when your having a drink?” But you know what they are all excuses, I was never born with a cigarette in my mouth and when I think about all the time and money I’ve wasted its defiantly not worth it! I’ve learnt over time that the small changes we make can lead to bigger ones as well so this is just the start for me and I hope it inspires a new start for you!

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

 

 

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Dealing with Disappointment

The feeling of disappointment can be one of the most exhausting emotions we have and can be perpetuated if it’s not dealt with correctly. I applied for a graduate marketing job and was super excited about the telephone interview I had schedule. I’ll admit when I have an interview I don’t always revise the company. I have been interviewing quite frequently and its quite time consuming and annoying when you put your effort in and you don’t get the job. This job however was different it had all the elements on my checklist, career progression, good salary, and so forth so I put my all into revising in attempt to secure the role. I had the telephone interview a few days later and felt it went really well however I received an email the next day saying I was unsuccessful. I was totally devastated and I’m sure many of you can relate! At the moment I feel trapped in terms of work, my bitter disappointment led to me feeling shit all week but in this disappointment I learned a few things.

Sometimes the best way of dealing with disappointment is to be disappointed, let your emotions out!  Im not saying here I sat and cried about it but I was very pissed and felt like I was going to smash something (for a few hours). This isn’t always a bad thing, letting your emotions out helps you to get rid of all that negative energy surrounding you.

Exercise is another great way of releasing your anger I should have went to the gym instead of moping around in bed all day, but at least now I see where I went wrong. Whilst moping in bed I was listening to depressing music with negative lyrics, which just amplified my mood of feeling shit. Music can influence our emotions massively so think about the songs your playing that’s another thing I learned!

Me being in bed all day didn’t really help either, we are social creatures so isolating yourself doesn’t help. I should have called a mate or a family member to talk about it, a problem shared is a problem halved. It’s always good to seek advice from others because your view of the problem is clouded by your mood. Once you have had that convo with somebody its good to sit back and think about the bigger picture and gain perspective. In my case I was unsuccessful in getting a job I wanted, hardly life threatening. Sometimes its good to flip your problems and be grateful that you even have them. In my case I should be grateful that they were interested in me and that I have a first class degree a lot of people don’t even have the chance to go to Primary school let alone University.

But for me personally this blog is more than a blog its therapy! Writing about problems allows you to think about them more clearly. Some people write about their problems and rip the paper up but me personally I like writing about it and reading what I wrote a few days later, which allows me to reflect and see how I came through it.

All in all I think that the main reason for me feeling so disappointed was the fact that I put my all in. Thinking about it now it should never be a reason for disappointment. Unconsciously I wasn’t trying enough so at least if things didn’t go my way I could at least say fuck it I didn’t try anyways which is extremely petty. Now I feel proud that I tried my best even though I “failed” I gave it a bloody good go! As one door closes another one opens always remember that!

 

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Scars Will Scab

 

What cripples us most in the face of uncertainty?

For me personally and many others I’m sure it is the fear of being judged. Where does this innate paranoia originate? Is it because of past negative experiences? Part of it probably is but ask yourself: Where has the fear of being judged got me? Has it ever resulted in a positive outcome? The chances are it has never ever done that for you.  The worst part about the fear of other people’s judgment is that you become consumed with judging yourself, usually very harshly.

I mean this in the kindest way possible but people out there do not give a shit about the fact that you are wearing odd socks today or you approached a woman and got turned down. People are way too busy thinking about their own lives to severely worry about yours and that’s the harsh truth.

Upon reading this you may think Aaron you baldy I thought this was a blog about positivity but wait hear me out. In knowing that people do not care about you as much as you think why on earth would you care about their opinion?  It’s an extremely liberating outlook and mindset that allows you to truly express yourself without the fear of “Caring.” Taking a risk and being yourself is what life’s all about it allows you to expand your comfort zone further and further making things you used to worry about appear minor. The greatest part about being yourself is you filter out the people who you genuinely do not get along with which is not a bad thing, not everybody likes everybody!

So whether the outcome is good or bad it doesn’t matter. Nobody cares except you anyway and to be quite frank you should pat yourself on the back for being yourself. When we fear being judged it’s usually because we are allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. For some reason being vulnerable is considered weak especially amongst us men. Think of it like this, we go to the gym, lift weights to break down our muscle right? Then what do we do? We go and eat shitloads of protein. Vulnerability is our bench press and experience is our protein, whether the outcome is good or bad it will always make us stronger regardless. 

At 21 years old my hairline was a mess! I was super paranoid about it. Every time the wind blew my heart sped. It might sound really trivial to a lot of people but to me it was a huge thing. One day I woke up and said you know what Fuck it my hairline is receding and I’m going to do something about. I hopped out the barber chair a bald man and never looked back since! Sure when people I haven’t seen in a while saw me they were really shocked some liked it some didn’t but at the end of the day I liked it. It was one of the most liberating things I’ve ever done! I felt so good about myself that other people’s opinions meant nothing because I did what I wanted to do!  To be very honest people gravitate to you more when you own who you are anyway so worrying about what other people think of you is completely pointless.

I’m not saying here that nobodies opinion counts those that positively contribute to your life should be heard. But at the end of the day its your life, its 10% of what happens to us and 90% how we react to it!

 

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