At 16 I smoked my first cigarette trying to impress an older girl who probably doesn’t even remember my name now. Fast forward 7 years and I still smoke! The amount of money I’ve wasted is probably ridiculous! Actually I’m going to do the math! £4.50 (10 pack of mayfair kingsize cigarettes) x 7 (week total) is £31.50 a week. £31.50 x 4 (4 weeks in a month) = £126 a month, x 12 (to find out the year cost) is £1512. £1512 x 7 (for the total years I’ve been smoking) is £10,584…….. As Im writing this I feel physically sick!! Are you fucking kidding me?!
Lets see how much time I’ve wasted as well! lets say it takes me 2 minutes to smoke a cigarette x 10 (amount of cigarettes I smoke a day) = 20 minutes. If I x the 20 minutes by 7 = 140 minutes per week. To find out how many minutes in a month I do 140 x 4 = 560 minutes a month x 12 = 6720 mins a year. If I take that total x 7 (total amount of years I’ve smoked) = 47040 minutes. There is 1440 minutes in a day so if I take the 7 year total and divide it by 1440 I get 32.6 days just smoking…..
Are you having a laugh?! so over 7 years I have spent approximately £10,584 and 32/33 days just on smoking cigarettes?! that is absolutely atrocious!
I have tried to quit many times before the longest I’ve ever quit for was a year….. I went to Amsterdam and it all went downhill. But it hit me today, we always do things for a reason so I asked myself why do I smoke? To be very honest there were two reasons. The first was it was a release it’s always been a getaway. The second was BOREDOM… when I was bored it gave me something to do, when I think about it its absolutely stupid! I think the biggest discovery from questioning myself was that it was a real getaway. Instead of dealing with problems head on I’d run away from them and be comforted by a cigarette almost like a dummy for a baby.
This feeling of getting away is prevalent in my drinking habits also I’m sure for many others as well. When I sat there and asked myself, when do I drink and usually its when I’m mega pissed off, socialising or at a party. I don’t think drinking socially or at a party is a problem but drinking alone when your pissed off is. I suppose drinking and smoking has always been a coping mechanism for me but really it isn’t because your not actually facing your problems your running away from them.
I have been cold turkey for two days now and I am surprised how much I am actually addicted to smoking. Ive been sweating, feeling tired all the time, feeling depressed and generally feeling very shit. The second day hasn’t been too bad but I keep getting thoughts like just have one but I’ve stayed strong and resisted. Ive always felt like I’ve never had a choice when it comes to smoking “All my mates smoke! How am I going to survive? What about when your in the smoking area of a club? What about when your having a drink?” But you know what they are all excuses, I was never born with a cigarette in my mouth and when I think about all the time and money I’ve wasted its defiantly not worth it! I’ve learnt over time that the small changes we make can lead to bigger ones as well so this is just the start for me and I hope it inspires a new start for you!
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”